After thinking about it for a couple of days (and muttering a lot), I decided to take a deep breath and decide what, exactly, the Bohus needed to make it right. So I tried it on again.
I think it's okay. Seriously, I think the problem is me, not the sweater. I think I'm still in the I'm-not-skinny-anymore-so-clothes-have-to-be-huge mindset, and ignoring the doc saying I'm back down to "normal" weight. (Yeah, okay, the high end of "normal", but "normal". )
Tammy, Terry, Bobbie, Valerie... you gave good knitterly advice in the face of my earlier Bohus discouragement... am I nuts?
The sleeves aren't tight, the cuffs are snug -- which is what I was aiming for.
I think a shirt sleeve will comfortably fit inside the sleeve. I think the Bohus is okay.
(Now, if only I believed that the neck shaping is really going to work out when it starts this soon...)